Following the Leader...

Since the day he was born, I've done my best to let Benjamin lead the way...and gratefully, when I forget to do so, he reminds me. The upshot is that, by now, he has developed a pretty strong sense of independence and self-confidence. And today was no exception.

I brought the boys to East Hills (sister athletic club to The MAC) so I could take a specific class, which meant they would be using the playroom there for the first time. Long story short (you're welcome, Shawn Bergsma), they did great. Jonathan was clingy when I was signing him in and getting his things settled, but apparently did great once I left. Benjamin, on the other hand, was the one I was most nervous about.

It was a year ago that we first went to Ms. Margaret's class--where I was with him the whole time--and he was still a bit apprehensive about the new setting. But today? While I was still getting Jonny checked in, Benjamin starts to walk away from me and looks back and waves, saying "Bye, Mommy!".

I was stunned.

And incredibly proud.

Totally new place, new people, new kids...and off he went. See ya, Mom.

This weekend we took the boys to open gym at Gymco, and off he went...galloping down the long tramp and hurling himself onto the mat. Saying hi to random kids and even helping his younger brother put his Crocs in a cubby before we went in to play.

And sidenote? When we had to wait a few minutes for open gym to start, Benjamin says, in a hysterically understanding tone..."Sometimes we have to wait, Jonny..."

PLG.

Insisted on ordering his own cone yesterday at The J.J.

Loves my company when working his puzzles, but rarely lets me assist with the process. The first time we bust open a new one, it's fair game. But once he's seen it through to the finish, he insists on doing it himself from that point forward.

Goes to bed completely on his own.

(unless he's overtired...and then it's all about the dramatics.)

But potty training?

Whoa nelly.

I've learned that, like everything else in his life, there is a learning curve. And he will be the one to decide just where he fits on it...relative to the task at hand.

It's so easy, as a parent, to see your child a certain way...and thus expect them to be that way with all things. And I'm not saying--by ANY stretch--that I thought this would be easy.

I just figured he was "ready"...so it wouldn't be too difficult.

And the crux of it is, there's a good chance he could have been pooping like a pro by now, had I not talked about it so freakin much.

Point is, amidst all of our positive cheerleading, chart-making and reward-promising...the little dude choked at game time.

As of now, he's a peeing "pro". Even asks to pee when we're out in public and has little to no fear at all of random, public bathrooms. Asks to pee at The MAC...and did so this morning at East Hills. Without me. On his own. Made me proud.

But the final frontier has yet to be mastered.

And you know what? I'm totally ok with it. It took a few serious meltdowns last week...and then, ultimately, a two day withholding binge on his part, for me to get smart.

I just woke up one morning and started to feel incredibly guilty for thinking that this was something I should have control over...after all, I've always wanted to empower B to understand how to do things...but to be able to make the decision when to do them all on his own.

Sometimes figuring out how isn't easy, and requires a bit of intervention...like with sleep, learning to try new foods, stay in new places, trust new people...but once he's gotten the hang of it with these kinds of things, he's been golden.

I guess that's why I wanted so badly to just force him into seeing how easy it is to do the big dance on the potty.

And that's where I was wrong.

It was a healthy amount of self-checking on my part...and an unbelievably timely visit from a friend (*wink* to you here, S.D.)...that set me straight.

I have since positioned a toy that his Aunt Dawn bought him for his birthday (which I gratefully saved for a rainy day, Dawn...can't blame me!) above the kitchen sink, where he stares at it day in and day out during his meal and snack time. He knows that when he poops, he gets the toy. Yesterday I actually got the toy down so he could inspect it...and his eyes were like the wheels on a semi.

When I put the toy back, saying "And when you poopy on the potty, you get to open it...and it's all yours!!!"...he got that happy/manic face he's famous for, started jumping and clapping...and actually asked to sit on the potty.

Nothing happened.

But he asked.

And the best part is...he was the one who went galloping off for the bathroom, throwing the door open and hurling the potty donut (that's what I call the kiddy-seat you put on top of the big people seat) onto the toilet.

I just followed him.:)