When it rains, it pours.

Brian's been in Salt Lake this week, which has been good for a few reasons. I'll get those out of the way now, because anyone with kids knows those "good" moments are few and far between when you're the only one at the homestead. Let's be honest--I'm just trying to be nice, by including the happy times...because in reality the last few days have been from H.E.L.L.

Brian travels often, so I can't say it's always this way. In fact, the boys and I are pretty much a well-oiled machine each day. It's just those early morning/evening times...and the cumulative effect of manning them all alone that seems to chip away at my sunnier side.

So here they are, the happy moments:
*taking a nap in my bed with Benjamin Monday afternoon...and right before I fell asleep, hearing him say, while facing me with his head on his pillow, "have a good nappers, mommy".

*seeing Jonathan take a STEP!

*playing with the gardenhose yesterday in the driveway with Benjamin...and soaking him, while he giggled hysterically

*taking a stroll up the block Monday morning and seeing Stephanie and the girls (and Sarah, briefly, as she whisked by with the jogger-stroller)

*Benjamin owning the room at "laptime"...so absurd...

*anytime spent singing with Benjamin and watching how Jonathan reacts--his best move is the "talk to the hand" jerking of the head...it's ridiculously funny


Now for the list, and the people who are currently on mine:

*the many (though not new) times Benjamin sneaked out while I was putting Jonathan down for a nap upstairs

*leaving my wallet at the gift shop at the Children's Museum...only to realize when I went to pay for my friend (who visited from out of town) and myself. it was supposed to be "on me"...but as her luck would have it, I couldn't find my wallet and she got the check. real nice.

*Benjamin's tantrum of epic proportions at Children's Museum gift shop (I'm blaming the wallet debacle on this moment of total chaos)

*realizing I was out of coffee creamer Wednesday morning...when I needed my coffee the most (by the way, when did I turn into such a coffee wimp? creamer??)

*things that don't normally spill--gallons of milk, laundry detergent, canisters of Gerber puffs, contents of my diaper bag, bottle/glass recycle container under sink in kitchen, infant ibuprofen, you name it...it spilled. and if Jonathan was awake at the time--he played in it.

*freaky neighbor Andy

*grumpy/bitchy lady at Pooh's Corner

*freaky neighbor Andy

*person who owns Peapod (grocery delivery service)...needs to wake the F up and open a service in my neighborhood. sistah needs a bottle of wine at night sometimes...ok?

Truth be told, the days here this week without Brian weren't filled with anything that other moms (or crazy, forgetful, spastic women) don't go through each day with their kids...it's just that when it's one thing after the next, often within the span of five minutes...and with no relief at the end of the day, beginning of day...etc....you get my drift.
And the whole "helpful mom (Nana)" ceased to be "helpful" many moons ago, so we're finding it much easier to go it alone...spilled containers, missed opportunities to exercise, etc...none of it's as bad as a heavy dollup of guilt over the 101 things I do wrong. And God bless her, cause she really does mean to help...but it's always at such a high premium to my sanity.
So...love my kids and all, but come Wednesday night, I kinda wanted to commit murder on somebody. Not on my kids...just on somebody...like, perhaps my creepsville-neighbor, Andy.

And then, Brian gets home last night, and more chaos ensues, involving a broken key ignition on our Camry, which Brian discovers at midnight at Kent County airport...
At lunchtime I ask Brian if I can run some errands while the boys take their afternoon naps, and he suggests that I just take the rest of the afternoon to myself, that he can manage the boys and still get some work done.
I rejoice, apologize to him for calling him ungrateful and unappreciative (need to mention here that he was wined and dined in Salt Lake with sushi, drinks, and other fancy meals..oh, and a bed and bathroom he got to enjoy ALONE) and run to pack my MAC bag and call up Panopolous to get the unibrow waxed...
I put both boys down for their naps, and while I'm reading to Benjamin, he looks up at me and says "Mommy silly...Mommy read books funny"...and I melt. I head downstairs to the very quiet kitchen and go to grab my keys, etc...and suddenly, I don't want to leave. I don't want to go anywhere! I just want to be here when they both wake up.
So freakin ridiculous...SO unbelievably ridiculous.
An unprecedented moment of complete freedom and abandon, and all I can think of is how Benjamin won't want me to read Goodnight Moon to him in a few years.

Ugh.
So, the point of my story. Don't think I have one.
But, I can still safely say without any hesitation or false pretense: Life is so very GOOD.

Milestone...

This is going to seem silly.

But I'm here in the kitchen, feeding Jonathan dinner...and Benjamin is playing next door at the neighbors' house. We were over there earlier, all 3 of us, and I chatted for a while with Dawn while the boys played. But it was time to come home with J and so Benjamin was invited to stay to play...ridiculous, but I'm all misty over here just knowing that my little boy isn't in sight, or really even in view of a parental unit...just "playing" with the kids. I told Sarah (6yrs old) to walk him home when it was time for her dinner.
I can hear them playing out our kitchen window and it reminds me of summer nights when I was a kid...

What a silly thing to call a milestone, but here I am anyway.
Plus, the laptop's crazy convenient to J's highchair.:)

Oh, to be my husband.

Brian calls when he gets to Salt Lake today to say..."uggh, I'm tired".

This was at 10am, when all hell had already commenced to break loose around here.
Walk a day in my shoes, my friend....walk a day in my shoes.

Ironically, though, if he offered to switch "shoes" with me one day...he'd have a tough time prying this pair of mine off of me.

Ok then!

Enough metaphors today for this ladayyy....I think I'm just having one of those days where I'm so fucking tired I don't know how to think straight, much less write normally.

Jonathan just knocked over the fireplace screen, swiftly falling on his back and smacking his head against the hard floor....did he cry? No. Just laughed a little and got back up again, hair disheveled and dirty from the fall. Hysterical....my boys.

Same gender?
Check.
Same child?
Not even close.

Gearing up for a fun day-road-trip tomorrow with both boys...more tomorrow!

Top 5 Signs...

you no longer live next door to Ron and Roxanne:

5) Each morning, promptly at 6:30am, you hear...nothing.

No car horns, no classic rock bellowing from a car stereo, and above all--no "Hannnaaahhh! Get yer butt out here yer gonna be late for school!"

4) The neighbor children have normal haircuts. And straight teeth.

3) When your nextdoor neighbor decides to get rid of an old swing set, he/she lists it on Craig'sList, ebay, the newspaper, what-have-you.

You don't come home from the grocery and see it sitting in their front lawn with a "Free--Please Take" sign.

2) When you return home on a Sunday afternoon/evening from a trip, your neighbors don't mysteriously wind up in their driveway two seconds after you get out of the car, peppering you with questions about your "time away".
And said neighbors don't give you that "you must think you some hot shot city slicker" sneer when you tell them bout your trip to D.C.
I'm just saying.

1) When you ask your neighbor boy what his parents' are cooking for dinner (because it smells so unbelievably good when you pull in the driveway), he informs you that his dad is making Ethiopian.

Yup.
That one did it.
Oh, and when I got big eyes and said..."Wow, I thought I smelled curry! Tell your dad that Brian and I are impressed!"....Ryan (neighbor boy) disappears inside and re-emerges five minutes later with a plate for us.

Guess that's why we suddenly found ourselves craving Indian food...next-day-curry-smell be damned, we're gettin our grub on.

It's time, finally.

I've just had a come to Jesus moment with our highchair. Two plus years we've had this thing, and after each meal, I've tried to wipe the mutha clean. But no matter how hard I try, it seems that certain lingering bits of food are destined to remain.
Now, what I've finally settled on is the fact that I can get the tray clean, the footrest, and the pad where our most precious of buns sit during meals...but as for the rest, I completely surrender.
Dried up spots of peaches, pears and other such baby varietals in all sorts of nooks and crannies...and the mother of all spots--the straps. Crusty bits of green beans, mac and cheese, pasta and the like...all stuck to the straps--which, gratefully, we never use.
But these remains may now, finally, rest in peace...because I give up.

They win.

On to more important things, like how to make sure Jonathan's not chewing on a recalled toy...geeeeez...lovin that latest landmine in the world of parenting.

Speaking of Jonathan, I need to get off my rump and have his allergies tested. He had a reaction again today--this time to (I think) the wheat in his whole wheat pasta. I gave him some of Benjamin's lunch (Annie's whole wheat pasta w/cheese) and he dove right in...loved every bite. But by the time I went to clean his tray off (yes, I still clean the tray, thanks), his mouth and cheek area was all pink. This happened a few weeks ago when my mom fed J some cream of wheat, though that time it was a bit worse. Anyway, not horribly concerned about it, but do want to follow up with Dr. Brown.

Time to eat my incredibly unsatisfying weight watchers chocolate ice cream bar.
It's not too bad, actually...rather good, really...if you're into the whole "damn, is it the weekend yet?" kind of diet.

Over and out, good buddies.

It sounded like a good idea at the time...

We had a delightful morning here at Casa de Richards.
Boys played well, we danced and sang together to the Dan Zanes video (that thing is gonna be warped from overuse any day now), ate healthy snacks, played outside a little...and had a yummy lunch. I even got laundry done. J didn't nap so well, but that always means he'll take an even longer one in the afternoon, so all was fine there...
As I type, they're both napping, so I'll try and make this short, as I'm on borrowed time.
This, of course, assuming that I know how to be short-winded with my stories...what a lovely and totally unrealistic idea.

Well, the picture of domestic/family bliss from our morning was soon shattered.
We had about 45 minutes-ish before naptime, so I called up Katie and asked what they were doing. They were in the same boat, so "come on over and they can play before naps". Great idea. Finally got my cup of coffee (actually don't get a chance to drink it some days until lunchtime!), got J in the stroller, and we all walked over to Katie's house.
Benjamin b-lined it for their playroom, heading straight to the cars. Lilly worked with her puzzles, and Jonathan speed-crawled around the house. We weren't there more than five minutes and Benjamin started hyper-ventillating because Riedan (who just learned to walk) was trying to take B's cars. Maybe it was the close-to-naptime frenzies, maybe it was because these were different cars than his own and were thus WAY too precious to share, or maybe it was because he's so effing tired of hearing the effing word "share". Honestly, I have no idea. But the child would NOT cope with the situation well at all. Finally redirected him to play at the other end of the table, after graciously doling out two cars from his stash to Riedan.
Jonathan finds the LeapFrog table and practically foams at the mouth he's so stinkin excited. So he was happy...and, as I assumed (you can sense the danger now, I'm sure) pretty occupied for the time being.
Riedan makes it down to Benjamin's end of the table and immediately swipes the "moto-cycle" from B.

Well, that did it. Benjamin looks at me and starts to yell "mommy! no share!! not ours!! benjamin no share!! nooooooo!!!"....so, using my calm-mommy voice (as I am, after all, in the presence of one of EGR's most beloved kindergarten teachers) tell Benjamin he needs to either share the cars or put them away. He takes the only car he has left and chucks it at me. In one fell swoop I set my coffee cup down on the floor (your sense of danger is growing here, no?), checking to make sure J's still happy at the LeapFrog table...and whisk Benjamin into the other room, borrowing their "naughty step" for a few moments. In the background I hear Katie talking to Lilly, explaining why Benjamin was on the "naughty step", and that she knows that Lilly can help Benjamin put the toys away when he gets back, etc....yada...yada...B finally calms down and says "mommy, Benjin (this is his name for himself when he's sad or pissed off) play with cars...riedan cars...not ours...Benjin put toys awayyyy." I walk with him back into the room, just in time to see J-man cruising our way. And that's when he knocks the coffee cup over. All over their carpet. I know...not the end of the world, but Katie's house is always immaculate (she's the kind of "type A" that I dream of being...sigh) and free from stains. She insists, between my apologies and rants, that she has a "gazillion" stains to clean up, so "no worries". I decide to take her up on this, even though as I take a quick survey of the room I see not a one in sight...but let's be honest, it's time for mutha-effin naps and we need to bolt. So off we go.
As we're crossing the street, B decides to take off his crocs and start jumping in the puddles. J starts crying cause he's hungry, and I realize I left my coffee cup by her kitchen sink. So I cruise back to her house (only 1 house away), Jonathan's hair practically windblown from the speed, leaving Benjamin with his barefeet and puddle, and she meets me at the driveway with the coffee mug.

We get home and I turn on Dan Zanes (way over our TV quota for the day already) while getting J his lunch. It's while I'm in the kitchen cutting up J's food that I hear the monster-sized vase full of roses (yes, Brian got them for me while he was traveling last week, but now's not the time for sentiment) come crashing down and spilling water all over the tv room carpet.

Really no need to go further than that, I imagine.
Both boys are sleeping, so I'm going to consider my job done for the day, even though it's only half over. Anything I do--or don't do--for them beyond this point is merely gravy. And I'm not taking any responsibility for how non-creative it may be.

Brian gets off work shortly after 5, and then I'm off to the MAC. And then it's time for some "Don't Stop Believin"...I can hear the opening keyboard melody now, even as I type.

Bring it, Steve Perry.

Everyone's got an anthem round here...

For Benjamin, it's his ABCs...and don't get me wrong, this is no perfect rendition as of yet. It's still fun to hear him muttering them under his breath while working with his trains, or even singing them loudly while marching through the kitchen. Doesn't even matter that he just chose to strip himself naked and sing them for me while I was making coffee...
You know how you try all day long to guide, direct, and encourage the right behaviour...and then something happens that you find so hysterical you literally fall onto the floor laughing...and before you know it, the ABCs are being shouted so loud it wakes your younger one up? Yeah, well, small price to pay to have some shared hilarity with Benjamin this morning. He was stark naked and holding his "guy", came marching into the kitchen with the other arm pumping up and down in the air, and sang his ABCs. Except lately, whenever he gets to "F, G" he substitutes "Budd-eee". Ridic. Whatever. But it was so stinkin funny that I honestly fell onto the floor and laughed for about 5 minutes. This gave him enough encouragement to take it "to the next level"...and...well, here we are.
So.
What was the point of this entry this morning...oh yes, I remember. Anthems.
I think we've covered Benjamin's.

Jonathan's would most definitely be the Weebles song..."Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!". All I have to do is sing the following, in a sing-songy voice, naturally: "Weebles wobble, but they don't--fall--down!"...and he laughs uncontrollably. Even does that lean-forward and look like you're gonna lose your breath thing. Kills me. And it all started the other day after Laptime at the library. Benjamin was playing in the kitchen area with some other kids and I was reading board books to J. I found a Weebles book and gave it a whirl. Instant love affair.

My anthem these days is "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey. It's on my Ipod and I jamm out to it regularly at the MAC. Always makes me step it up a bit...one of those songs.
I have several, actually. Songs that make me want to work an extra cheeseburger or two off...or at the very least, a few guilt-ridden glasses of wine. They are as follows:
Fix You by Coldplay
The Scientist by Coldplay
Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional
City of Blinding Lights by U2
and She Will be Loved by Maroon 5

Ok. I guess I can't be on the computer anymore this morning.
The fucking diaper's off again.
Time to potty train???

Turnin the mutha out...

Yes, Mrs. Cavanaugh. I borrowed that from you. But boy did we turn it out...

Benjamin, as usual, was slow to get into the groove...but oh so cute when he did. Most of the time he was preoccupied with his potato chips. Check out the third pic...Benjamin's like "Dammnnn, little Jonny..take your mojo somewhere else!"

Jonathan completely astounded me with his rhythm. Seriously...went ape to the music. I had him on my lap at one point, and he was totally doin the bob and weave all over the place. Hysterical. That kid's ready for a night at The Roxberry. Or is it Roxbury? Whatever, it doesn't matter. All I know is that the Go-Go's better lookout, cause this boy's got the beat.

Such my little stud.

In a cableknit sweater.

Could I BE more ridiculous this evening?

That's all I got for tonight...between the festivities at Collins Park and the mayhem over the ice cream man when we got home...this sista's beat.

But going to bed with a smile as I think about my boys.

"Houston, I think we're approaching one nap..."

F me.
11 mos and already dropping a nap? Son of a...
Oh well, guess this means our morning is opened up for more activity, which is a total relief and welcome change....just...as...soon....as... I can get used to it.

Onward we go.

"Yes, it's Ladies' Night..."

"Oh what a night."

Bar Divani might not ever be the same...plenty of martinis, tasty food, and scintilating conversation...cheers, friends. What a gang!

Sara--included the Jennifer Garner pic. Do we still think I look like her? I think not so much...I think we just really loved our martinis.

Our New Kitchen!

These pictures are from last night, after the first coat was finished. Tonight the kitchen is actually looking near done! The second coat is on, and all we have left to do is the second coat in the bathroom...and then the crown molding. It's so exciting. Brian and I are in LOVE with how it's turned out!

I'm pretty tired after a long weekend, so I think this will be it for tonight.

Nothing too newsworthy to report from our weekend, other than the sense of accomplishment in the kitchen...finally!

Oh--and Girls' Night was a roaring success Friday night at Bar Divani. I'll include a picture or two. What fun...perhaps a few too many vodka/chambord martinis, but definitely worth every last calorie and ounce of pain that commenced Saturday morning.

From coffee to cocktails...

Playgroup had a quasi-"wrapping it up" ceremony today at Wealthy Elementary playground. Oddly enough, I'm feeling very little need to journal about this morning's gathering, as my good buddy has already done a rather fabulous job on her own: http://www.cavanaughcrazies.blogspot.com

A great day here in the life of Mommy Meg:).
Awesome weather, awesome nappers, $10 CK tank top scored at Nordy Rack, stroll outside with my little J...and now the process of getting ready to go out with the girls.
Bar Divani awaits...

"It's ok, Brian...

you can come home now."

The Littlest Neat-freak

Before lunch today I called to Benjamin, whom I thought was in the tv room with his puzzle. Instead he emerges from the bathroom with Ted (my old teddy bear, which is now his side-kick), both paws soaking wet and dripping all over the kitchen floor.
"Mommy--Ted washes hands before lunch!"
Actually sounded more like this: "Mommee--Ted washiz haands beefo luunch!"

Boy after his mommy's heart. I was so proud.:)

Jonathan Christopher

Actually fell asleep with his sweet, fuzzy, warm head on my shoulder tonight. Brian put him in his crib for the night, and I think for some reason he just wasn't having it.
Sometimes when Daddy puts them to bed it's more of the "drop and run" technique...Benjamin seems fine with this most days, but lately Jonathan's been really wanting his Mommy. Anyway, went in there and he had the sad, lower lip puckered out...and when I picked him up with his fave blankie he snuggled against my shoulder, right up against the side of my face. I indulged in the moment and sat in the glider chair with him for almost 20 minutes. His little hairline was all sweaty from being so close to me...it was heaven.
Love him so much, and am watching him get ready for toddler-hood...and it makes me ridiculously melancholy and sad. And happy. And excited to see him grow. But this child truly made me love, cherish and adore the infant stage...it's hard to see him outgrow it.

Sigh.
Love my Jonny C..and my Benjamin D. Ok--so I'm a major dork for admitting this in a public forum--but there's a song we sing in our house. Well, I sing it with the boys...Benjamin loves it. At this point all Jonathan can do is smile, laugh and clap his hands...but I can tell he's a superfan. It goes as follows: "Jonny C! And Benjamin D! We're a HAPPY famileeee!"
That's it.
I know...with that build-up, one would be expecting something much more elaborate. But that's it! One day I'll write down all of our little songs, rhymes and sayings. I'm too tired for now.
Brian's in Chicago the next two days, so I think I'll go to bed soon to gear up...always long days and nights when he's gone. Hate it!

Sigh. Again.
Off to bed.

Food, floaties and fun!

And did I mention it was all free?
That's always a good thing, too...
Carole was gracious enough to invite us out to Blythefield Country Club to swim/play/have lunch today. We went out around 11am and didn't come home until 3:30pm. The boys did great! Jonathan was a bit on the cranky side and decided not to nap, but ended up going to bed on the early side...so he's in good shape again. More importantly, though, both boys played and had a great time in the pool(s). The kiddie pool was great for Jonathan, but Benjamin soon tired of it...and it was off to the excitement of the big pool, complete with floaties and Nana at his side. I swam around with Jonathan and got pictures of B, so I'll post those later. Robyn and Aleah were there as well...Benjamin and Aleah became fast buds on the playground. Too funny. He's still talking about "Lee-ah". "Lee-ah funny!". Aleah is funny...and adorable these days. Her hair is the best. Again, pictures to come.
Carole treated us all to a yummy lunch by the pool...B loved the heck out of his grilled cheese and waffle fries. Holy crap...he was in heaven. Wouldn't even take his floaties off to eat...can't stop for much, I guess, when there are waffle fries in play.
He took a long nap and woke up ready to rock by the time I was leaving for the MAC...Jonathan was on his way to bed, and my dad was over (again! God love him.) tonight to finish up some ceililng work, while Brian washed the walls. We'll finish the priming and trim work by the end of the week, then it's COLOR this weekend!

Some quick updates on my Benjamin before bed...
Favorite activities (while at home): puzzles, puzzles and more puzzles. his cars and trains. coloring with his markers (sometimes on himself, but usually on his coloring books:)). pretending to do anything I'm doing.
Favorite songs (which he sings on his own in the car, while playing at his table, etc.): the Barney song (God help me), his ABCs, "throw the beanbag and catch" (from laptime @ the library with Ms. Trish), and "brush your teeth" by Raffi.
The Famous and Adored in our house right now: Ms. Trish (this has been the case for some time), which he pronounces "Mizz Tree-asshh!", Nana and Papa (goes ape for either), Allie (babysitter) and Jen (works in the nursery at the MAC)...ironically, she's the least "fun and animated" with him, but of course is the one he talks about all day after being there.

I'm pooped. Tomorrow night I'll detail the misadventures of our littlest Richards...whom I can only assume is, at this moment, dreaming about one of the following: cheese, Benjamin's cars, the driveway, B's tunnel, or his Leapfrog table. Or...he's dreaming that he's covered in a mess of cords from Mommy's laptop...with complete freedom to chew, pull, and gum on the cords, while batting the hell out of the screen and keyboard. This would be his ultimate fantasy. His "Kwan". His Everest.

Off for now...in need of some water. And my new book! Seriously need to get going on that one...every time I get in bed to start it, I end up watching something we've DVRed.
Pathetic.

Life is so very good.

Apples of my eye.

Oh, and in case you think that sounds lame, I'll save you the suspense: cliches abound when I reference my nearest and dearest of dears.

Always comes back to Chris Martin...

Benjamin and I were in the midst of a pretend phone chat a few minutes ago...I on my cell phone, he on his calculator (LOL). He was holding it next to his ear with his shoulder and playing at his train table...chatting away. When I made the "ring! ring!" sound, he looked at me totally confused. When I started to sing "Fix You" by Coldplay (my ringtone on my phone), he held up his calculator high in the air and announced, "Mommy! Phone!! Mommy's phone!"
So funny. And such a testimony to the times in which we live. That, and how pervasive Coldplay's influence is in this house...:)

Before I forget, another B story from today. My dad was over doing projects with us and was out in the driveway when B and my mom returned from the store. B walked up the driveway and squeeled "Papa! I'm so happy to seeee you!!"
Killed me.
And everything he says lately ends in this high pitched voice...more sweet than annoying. But then again I AM his mom.

Kitchen is coming along really well and transforming right in front of our eyes. So amazing. Love it.
Denise and Paul drive through town on their way back to Chicago from Traverse City tomorrow. Really looking forward to seeing them...always enjoy having them around. They're both so great with the boys, and I really, truly adore both of them. Denise has honestly become someone very special to me and I'm so grateful for that.

Off to play bank with B before he heads off to bed.

How swell...

Off to a lovely start on this blog, I am. Already one PWI (posting while inibriated) catastrophe under my belt.
Just so classy.

Starting projects around here today at the house. Mom has Benjamin out and about, Jonathan is sleeping and Brian and I are starting to work on the walls in the kitchen. I think most of this weekend will be prep work--washing the old wallpaper residue off, cleaning up spots, spackling plaster holes, sanding, and priming. Fun times. Next weekend we'll get to actually paint--I hope! We've chosen a dark, rich brown color for the kitchen...I'm loving it. And still recovering from shock over the fact that I chose it! So not a "me" choice at first glance. The bathroom color is the part I love, though...it's a lightish blue/periwinkle color. More blue, actually. Anyway, it's going to look amazing with the brown. I'm so excited! All these months of living in a post-apocolyptic-looking kitchen. This will be a welcome change, to say the least. :)

Time for my second cup of coffee. I'll post some fluff later of the boys.

Seriously?

This is what I'm wondering...
I know I need to be typing about my children. And don't get me wrong...I love my children. I adore them, actually. I'm so in love with them it hurts, if you want to know the truth...reminds me of how I used to feel when Brian and I were engaged. Like the "love" is still so new and precious...I need to do everything I can to capture and preserve it in time.
Anyway, they are incredible, my boys. They are me, they are Brian, they are all the things I love about the two of us....in human form.
And yet all I can think about tonight, is the fact that I am silly from too many margaritas.
Brian and I decided to have some tonight...he put Benjamin to bed while I ran up to Sarah's for a bit (up the street...not too far, as I brought a road soda with me) and now I'm home enjoying some marital bliss...with cocktails. Love Fridays with Brian. Here is our tradition: he gets off of work, we all go to Meijer (OMG...never knew it could be so fun till I had kids), come home, B and J and I play outside, Brian puts the groceries away, we both tackle dinner, baths, bedtime, and then Brian and I delve into some cocktails and hang out. Some nights it's the oh-so-typical Law and Order re-runs, others it's "Real Time With Bill Maher"...others it's just plain ol' junk, like "The Soup" on E!
Anyway, tonight I'm buzzed. Crazy stupid. And I have no one to apologize to for it...just my sweet Brian to thank for it. And the funny thing is that I'm the first to blame for bitching about my hubby and the silly, frustrating habits he has...he is not, by any means, the perfect husband. But shit...who am I kidding? I'm a pain in the ass. A complete and total pain in the arse. High-maintenance extroadornaire.
But I like to think that I'm worth it...I know HE is. And what I love most is that we're able to laugh about it all together. Tonight I made some off-hand comment about something my mom had done that annoyed me, and Brian was like--"Yeah...I don't know anybody like that..."

My eyes got big as quarters and I totally laughed, because he was right. Keeps me in check, he does. Love that. If anyone else in my life ever did that I'd probably hire a hit on them...but when Brian does it, I completely and sheepishly tie my tail between my legs and beg forgiveness.

Don't tell anyone.

Annnnnyyyyyywayyyy...
My boys are so unbelievably beautiful...and I'm ever aware of how much this has to do with Brian. In every way...

Ok.
I'm silly.
And I'm most definitely out for now.

The First Bottle

Sooo cheesey, my title.
But so true.
Ann had a t-shirt on once that said "Whine? No. Wine? Yes." Loved it. It's how I feel most days!
Decided to start this blog for a number of reasons:
First and foremost, I am a writer at heart. A true believer in the cathartic nature of writing...even if it's only to myself. And let's be honest, it almost always is.
That brings me to my next reason for starting this blog...looking around my house, one could find over a dozen journals, notebooks, random shoe-boxes full of scribblings...all detailing the many phases of my life, most likely beginning with the lamest-of-lame stuff from high school. And so I need to begin something more organized. More fluid. More consistent.
And for crying out loud, easier to find.
I guess the last reason might be the most important one.
My boys.
My Benjamin, my Jonathan, and my Brian. My nearest and dearest. Loves of my life...ever-growing and changing sources of joy, humor, inspiration, fulfillment, frustration, guilt, love, and total chaos. Each day I find myself with so much that I want to write down...the touching and adorable stuff, along with the absolute hilarity of life with these boys. Each day.
They are hysterical...and so unbelievably worth every second of pissed-off-ness and fatigue.
Because most of the time they just make me grateful and overwhelmed.

People always say that they "can't remember life before their kids"...while this sentiment is lovely and easy to appreciate, it's not one that I share.
My blog is going to have to be honest above anything else, and I don't intend to mince words. I love my boys more than anything in the world...but I am also very proud of the life that brought me to this phase I'm in...the one that brought Brian to me, the one I shared alone with him for a short, but precious time...and the one that I now share with my two little peanuts each day.
I guess my point is that, while I adore my children, I haven't--I hope--lost myself in them. And I don't think you have to busy yourself with a thousand outside interests, a career, or even an address book full of friends in order for your children to know you, their mother, have real worth. I think it comes through in the way you raise them...the choices you make when they are young, and the means by which you teach them to be strong and capable on their own.

So I guess having a blog is a place to start sharing this "whole" part of me with my kids. Maybe they'll read it one day. Or not. I know for sure their baby books are only going to collect dust until their future girlfriends and wives decide to keep them...even if only for posterity.

Oh holy hell. Jonathan's a teething, drooling mess and is grabbing at my laptop.
I'm out for now.
I'm confident this was wordy enough for one entry...sheesh.