The First Bottle

Sooo cheesey, my title.
But so true.
Ann had a t-shirt on once that said "Whine? No. Wine? Yes." Loved it. It's how I feel most days!
Decided to start this blog for a number of reasons:
First and foremost, I am a writer at heart. A true believer in the cathartic nature of writing...even if it's only to myself. And let's be honest, it almost always is.
That brings me to my next reason for starting this blog...looking around my house, one could find over a dozen journals, notebooks, random shoe-boxes full of scribblings...all detailing the many phases of my life, most likely beginning with the lamest-of-lame stuff from high school. And so I need to begin something more organized. More fluid. More consistent.
And for crying out loud, easier to find.
I guess the last reason might be the most important one.
My boys.
My Benjamin, my Jonathan, and my Brian. My nearest and dearest. Loves of my life...ever-growing and changing sources of joy, humor, inspiration, fulfillment, frustration, guilt, love, and total chaos. Each day I find myself with so much that I want to write down...the touching and adorable stuff, along with the absolute hilarity of life with these boys. Each day.
They are hysterical...and so unbelievably worth every second of pissed-off-ness and fatigue.
Because most of the time they just make me grateful and overwhelmed.

People always say that they "can't remember life before their kids"...while this sentiment is lovely and easy to appreciate, it's not one that I share.
My blog is going to have to be honest above anything else, and I don't intend to mince words. I love my boys more than anything in the world...but I am also very proud of the life that brought me to this phase I'm in...the one that brought Brian to me, the one I shared alone with him for a short, but precious time...and the one that I now share with my two little peanuts each day.
I guess my point is that, while I adore my children, I haven't--I hope--lost myself in them. And I don't think you have to busy yourself with a thousand outside interests, a career, or even an address book full of friends in order for your children to know you, their mother, have real worth. I think it comes through in the way you raise them...the choices you make when they are young, and the means by which you teach them to be strong and capable on their own.

So I guess having a blog is a place to start sharing this "whole" part of me with my kids. Maybe they'll read it one day. Or not. I know for sure their baby books are only going to collect dust until their future girlfriends and wives decide to keep them...even if only for posterity.

Oh holy hell. Jonathan's a teething, drooling mess and is grabbing at my laptop.
I'm out for now.
I'm confident this was wordy enough for one entry...sheesh.