Brian.

I write so often about my boys...but don't pay enough attention, I'm afraid, to Brian.
A buddy of mine recently sent me an email forward of an article on how to treat your husband. It included a checklist of dos/don'ts...ways to diagnose whether or not you're the pefect, loving wife. Many of the items on the list made me wonder if there was a nationwide epidemic of loveless, unhappy marriages--or, more specifically, shitty wives. Because so many of the "dos" on the list were/are things I do on a daily basis.
1. Tell your husband you love him. Check.
2. Tell your husband you're proud of him. Check.
3. Brag about him to others. Check.
4. Laugh at his stories. Holy shit..Check!

And trust me, I don't think this separates me from anyone out there that I know...I'm not patting myself on the back for these things. I was just surprised to think that anyone would need reminding of such basic, decent, human behavior.
But then I got to the "don'ts"...and there were just a few that stuck out, but not in a good way.
1. Don't make fun of your husband to others/in public. Woops.
2. Don't get angry with him in front of others/in public. Woops.
3. Don't pick at the way he does things with the kids--ok, this one wasn't on the list, but it's one I feel guilty about all the time. So double Woops.

The making fun one is definitely something I'm guilty of...I think a lot of wives are, and honestly, the comments/narrative are often benign in nature. Just normal "mommy conversation", for example.
But sometimes I've been known to reference Brian's "Dungeons and Dragons" days in a way that is only funny to me...not to him. And I'll be honest--the fact that he used to play that shit in college really does make me scratch my head and want to call him a nerd. Because in so many ways, Brian is just dorky. But the thing is, I knew that when I met him...and knew it even better when I married him...because it's one of the things I first fell in love with about him, as it related to his innocence and genuine nature. There wasn't/isn't any pretense or "need to impress" with him.
But in the last few years, I've managed to let my pissed-offness about dirty dishes and messy clothes on the floor color my commentary on Brian when talking to others.
And the public-pissy-ness. Yikes. That's one that I always said I wouldn't do...and for the most part, I try to keep our discussions/arguments out of public view. But once in a while I let it be known how annoyed I am with him, particularly if I'm with a friend/family member who can relate when I'm in the moment.
So yes. I'm--shocker--not a perfect wife.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm a royal pain in the ass many days.

Why did I feel the need to purge myself on my blog today...I've no idea.
Perhaps it was that silly article.
Last night, after we watched The Office and 30 Rock, Brian and I sat on the couch, without the tv on, and just chatted about random junk. It was really nice, and I found myself feeling like a total space case for not having asked him more about his work lately. His promotion has been such a huge deal, and I've been more than supportive and congratulatory, but haven't taken the time to ask him if he's felt more stress from it. Seems he's handling it rather well and loving it, which is great.
The reality is, it's just so hard to find time for those conversations.
We went on a kid-free vacation a month ago, and still managed to have some of our best conversations over the past week, here in GR, and often on our spit-up-stained couch.
Funny that way.

I'm hoping that no one has actually gottent this far in today's entry...because if I were to be reading this on someone else's blog, I don't think I'd be able to stop throwing up.

Whatever.
Just love my Brian.
Guy takes quite a beating being married to me (hour long conversations about sports shows being on during dinner...so ridiculous), yet still manages to grab my ass as I'm walking out the door this morning for playgroup.

Love that.
Now, anyone know of a good article on how to treat your wife?
Sister needs to forward that one on...:)