Alright already...

For some reason unknown to me, I've been anti-blog lately.
Maybe it's because I've been too wrapped up in other things to have time for it, which has been true on some days. But I've also been really enjoying my book lately, so any random time I have where I'm not:
*chasing/playing with boys
*doing dishes
*dirtying dishes
*at the MAC
*outside
*doing laundry (which never gets put away...yikes...)
*watching The Bachelorette, ususally DVRed

...I'm reading The Kite Runner. No one will remember this, but I need to own up to the fact that I STARTED this book last summer. And like with most books, it wasn't the ridalin to my ADD in the first few pages, so it took some time to get into...in my case, a whole year.
Anyway, sometime a few months ago I started chipping away at it...a chapter here, a chapter there...and then, about a week ago, I got way involved. And I finished it last night.
WHAT an incredible story.
Leared so much that I never knew or even understood about Afghani culture...but on top of it all, it made me appreciate my life so much more than I already did.
After I finished it at midnight last night, I went upstairs and crawled into bed next to Benjamin...who barely moved...but when I hugged him and said, real quietly (I can't say "whispered" here because it just feels to creepy) "I love you, bud..."
He fidgeted the tiniest bit, and I kid you not---eyes closed, arms wrapped around his bunny and blanket...and hairline all sweaty (LOVE THAT)...he actually mumbled "I love you, too, Mommy".

Killed me.
There's a part in the story where the main character learns that his mother, who died during childbirth...once said, while pregnant with him that she was "profoundly happy"...because with so much happiness, surely something will be taken from her.
I don't like to admit to this kind of foreboding, but I swear...it's how I feel so often with my boys. It's as though there's so much love for them, it hurts to have it. I simply cannot stand how precious they are.
And I know most people feel this way about their kids, I really do...it's just my way of expressing it. I'm also acuteley aware of how ridiculously sentimental I am...I watch them crawl all over eachother in Benjamin's bed and giggle...and climb the toys at the park...and I feel like I want to freeze-frame this moment in time. They are such amazing little creatures.

I'm typing this, friends...and not two seconds ago, Benjamin calls to me from the family room, where he's **shocker** lining his cars up on the coffee table.
"Mommaayy!" (that's how he pronounces it, seriously)
"Yeah, bud?" I say, passively, as I type away...
"I gotta booger!"

Sweet.

Love this life, I swear.
Love it inside and out...and a thousand times over.