Critical Moments in Parenthood

I had one of these this morning...I think.
Before I go on, I should probably apply a sub-heading here: Raising Jonathan.

This child is so unbelievably hard to predict--which, most of the time, just adds to his charm. Other times it makes my hair prematurely grey, and often even makes me wonder what in the world I've done wrong...you know, to bring out the crazy.

But what I find happens the most is that his randomness just makes me LAUGH. Problem is, it's usually at a moment when I know full well I shouldn't be laughing. That "critical moment" as a parent when you know that falling apart in giggles will only bring about more of the behavior at hand.

Yesterday it was at the park, when Jonathan was playing with his brother and a few pals in the giant sandbox. I was chatting away with his friend Henry's mom, while the boys enacted all sorts of super-hero scenarios in and out of the sandbox...seemed innocent and normal enough. Until that moment...the one where you're listening to your friend tell a story, and yet you see something unfolding that is going to completely derail everything she's saying.
And that "something" would be my son Jonathan, butt-ass-naked, doing a jig in the woodchips and laughing hysterically.
It's like all of the decorum of a normal adult conversation is lost...it simply can't survive moments like these. And I feel badly, because I feel like I am constantly the unattentive friend, neighbor, etc. in conversations. Well, when Jonathan's around, anyway. It's like the worst case of ADD...and it happens everywhere: the playground, the neighborhood playtime scene, on the phone (don't even GET me started on the impossibility of that), the preschool pickup, really just about anywhere we are. I am unable to maintain focus on anything, because Jonny is always---I mean always--a few beats away from entering Crazyland.

I'd like to mention here (kinda off-topic) how grateful I have always been for the friends/family members who get it...maybe they have boys themselves (and this is the best padding of all, really) or they simply just appreciate the goofiness. I'm always super relieved to have a friend laugh right outloud with me when Jonny strips naked--it takes the pressure off in a way. Unlike those awful moments when I find myself around moms (who either have only girls or are just plain uptight or grumpy--I find it's most often the latter) whose children are just happily playing, quietly and without much fanfare, by themselves on the playground. Jonathan pretty much ruins those idyllic moments for the parents of those children in a matter of minutes. And my attempts to bring him back to Earth only seem to make things worse--or rather, me more embarrassed by the amazing contrast in behavior.

Fortunately I find myself mostly delighted at my child's craziness. Yes, it's awkward in public when he chooses to "sing" his order to the Jersey Junction employee (Hey now, you're a rock star, getch-yer game on, go PLAY! Spiderman popsicle!!)...or when he decides to pat his "pee pee" and laugh uproariously in the cereal aisle at the grocery--you know, instead of just saying "I have to pee, Mommy". These moments try me on a daily basis...and often embarrass me.
But deep down I'm pretty much enjoying the ride.
He is one difficult kid to predict--and holy cow, it can be fun. And almost always funny.

This morning I was in his room while he got dressed when he turned to me, shirt on and no pants...underpants on, but with a special surprise sticking out of the "hole" in front. And his face said it all: this had just been way too hard to resist for him.
"Mah-hah-hah-meee..." (he could hardly talk for the ensuing giggles to come) "Look at my pee pee...it's sticking out..hahahahha...it wants to be out!"

I'm not sure if it was the sheer sight of his lil' snausage poking out of the underwear "hole" that made me laugh the most...or if it was the rationale that he applied to the situation. Apparently the pee pee has feelings, too, and just needed to get some air.

Anyway, I think I managed to look disapproving for all of .2 seconds...and then I just lost it. And the look on his face when I began to laugh was just so Jonny. It's a look I see often--and while it's harmless, it often makes me worry about the longer-term impact. It's an expression that says "Haha, yeah, I'm a little bit crazy and a whole lotta naughty, but damn if people don't seem to find me funny..."

Sigh...what's to be done?
I guess the most important thing is that the child's got spirit...and total personality. And at the end of the day, it's this fact alone that makes me feel ok. I just pray he's not the one launching spitwads at highschool graduation.