Tuesday, June 30, 2009

God: the unseen parent.

Yet again we are hearing about God in our house. A good thing, yes? Reassuring, precious, and sometimes even a bit hilarious.
Today was no exception.

I'm quietly eating my lunch at the kitchen island while the boys *silently* (I swear I didn't drug them) colored at the train table. Benjamin walked over to me to show me the "sentence" he'd written...made no sense...and after a few of my supportive comments, went back to the train table to draw some more. I noticed him staring at his page for just a few moments, then witnessed him slowly underlining, ever so carefully, the entire sentence again. Very...slowly. And, as he was doing this, began to talk to Jonathan.

"Do you know what this really says, Jonny?"

No response from Jonathan, who was way too absorbed with his Curious George coloring book to manage a conversation with Mr. Chatterbox.
Can't blame the kid.

"What this sentence says, Jonny...well, I'll tell you. It says God loves us and everyone. Yeeeaahhh, that's what it says."

Still nothing from Jonathan.

"It also says that Jesus loves us and will be nice to everyone...he'll be our best friend..."

Jonathan suddenly decides that Curious George needs a purple hat and searches for the appropriate marker.

"And Jonny...Jonny!"

Jonathan looks up at him now, marker in hand.

"If you don't act nice to Jesus, God's going to spank you."

Jonathan: "No, Benny! I don't want a spanking!"

"Well," says Benjamin, cocking his head to one side for emphasis, "God will spank you if he needs to, you know. Because sometimes he just has to do that. Sometimes he spanks Jesus, too...ok?"

My eyes.
My eyes were huge.
Where did this come from?? The spanking talk? The naughty version of Jesus--the one who gets spanked? And a God who delivers the spanking?

For now I'm staying out of it.
I'm clearly a bit uncomfortable with the notion floating around in my child's head that God can deliver physical punishment...that he's not afraid to discipline like that.

But in another way, I gotta admit it, I think it's pretty clever.
Funny, even.
And oddly reassuring to know God's on my side with this one.

3 comments:

Stephanie said...

"Because sometimes he just has to do that." Ahhh haaa haaa! . . . awesome.

Michael said...

Love. It.

ctadhankins said...

That's HIGH-larious. All the more reason to keep a video camera handy. Tom Bergeron and crew would be handing you the check right now if that was on the tube...