I go to the MAC tonight, after Brian gets done working...to drain my head of all the funk today brought my way.
I decide to get a spinach salad from the fridge at the front desk, as I have over an hour before my class starts.
I go into lockeroom to put stuff in locker and sit at the table in front of the TV.
I sit down to eat my salad...put on raspberry vinegarette (sp?) dressing and spear a lovely piece of chicken, some pecans, spinach leaves and a few dried cherries onto my fork.
Ahhh.
And then I feel something on my back.
I swat it off.
But it's a bee.
And it stings the shit out of my finger.
Game over.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Back away slowly...
...if you cross my path today.
I'm cranky and pissed off...and need to vent. Please forgive me in advance for being a royal biotch. K? Ok. Because here's the list:
1. SUPER naughty 3year old.
2. 1 year old (fresh from last night's forehead gash from a wooden step corner) hellbent on injuring himself...came within inches of jumping in fish pond at Breton Village this morning.
3. Y.I. (female trouble--if you're a chick, you can figure that one out).
4. Dad reparks my car last night (after backing his own car up to pick up trailer) and decides to crack the windows so my car can "breathe"......we had a massive thunderstorm last night.
5. Storytime at Pooh's Corner was minus Ms. Margaret today...and Ms. Wanda (that's actually her name) just didn't cut the mustard. Therefore, bedlam ensued...
6. I have a headache.
7. Jonathan decides to throw food all over kitchen (this isn't new), and while I'm on the floor picking it up...he dumps his milk on my head.
8. Both boys laugh...and when I say "Jonny!" (in a stern, but NON-angry voice) "Mommy doesn't like that", Benjamin starts to yell at me for yelling at Jonny.
9. As I'm changing the world's poopiest diaper (seriously, he could win an award for this one) on Jonathan, Benjamin lets himself out the front door to chase garbage man truck. I look up to yell out "Wait for Mommy!" and Jonathan puts both hands in said award-winning mess.
10. As I'm putting J down for a nap, I come down the stairs to find Benjamin...front door open..standing on the small rug at the bottom of the steps, practicing his golf swing and launching plastic golf balls into the front yard.
11. Did I mention the Y.I.?
12. Jonathan smells like home fragrance spray. This would be due to his climbing on the sofa, standing on the sofa armrest, and leaning over to grab bottle of lovely scent. When I race in to rescue him from the precarious position he's in, praying to God he doesn't lose footing or grip on mantle...he grabs bottle so fast it's cap whacks on the mantle, breaking spray nozzle off and leaking all over his forearm. When I grab him, he grips both hands kung-fu style onto the mantle and actually kicks me away from him.
And hangs...seriously...hangs from mantle.
13. When I put him down for nap he snuggles against me with his blanket and "B" and says "Mommeee...wuv Mommeee..." (this somewhat redeems him, so I had to add it here).
14. But I still have a Y.I. And it's annoying the bajeezus out of me...like everything else today. If I didn't know better, I'd think I was pregnant for all of the bitchiness.
But unfortunately I'm not.
I'm just a bitch.
F**k.
I'm cranky and pissed off...and need to vent. Please forgive me in advance for being a royal biotch. K? Ok. Because here's the list:
1. SUPER naughty 3year old.
2. 1 year old (fresh from last night's forehead gash from a wooden step corner) hellbent on injuring himself...came within inches of jumping in fish pond at Breton Village this morning.
3. Y.I. (female trouble--if you're a chick, you can figure that one out).
4. Dad reparks my car last night (after backing his own car up to pick up trailer) and decides to crack the windows so my car can "breathe"......we had a massive thunderstorm last night.
5. Storytime at Pooh's Corner was minus Ms. Margaret today...and Ms. Wanda (that's actually her name) just didn't cut the mustard. Therefore, bedlam ensued...
6. I have a headache.
7. Jonathan decides to throw food all over kitchen (this isn't new), and while I'm on the floor picking it up...he dumps his milk on my head.
8. Both boys laugh...and when I say "Jonny!" (in a stern, but NON-angry voice) "Mommy doesn't like that", Benjamin starts to yell at me for yelling at Jonny.
9. As I'm changing the world's poopiest diaper (seriously, he could win an award for this one) on Jonathan, Benjamin lets himself out the front door to chase garbage man truck. I look up to yell out "Wait for Mommy!" and Jonathan puts both hands in said award-winning mess.
10. As I'm putting J down for a nap, I come down the stairs to find Benjamin...front door open..standing on the small rug at the bottom of the steps, practicing his golf swing and launching plastic golf balls into the front yard.
11. Did I mention the Y.I.?
12. Jonathan smells like home fragrance spray. This would be due to his climbing on the sofa, standing on the sofa armrest, and leaning over to grab bottle of lovely scent. When I race in to rescue him from the precarious position he's in, praying to God he doesn't lose footing or grip on mantle...he grabs bottle so fast it's cap whacks on the mantle, breaking spray nozzle off and leaking all over his forearm. When I grab him, he grips both hands kung-fu style onto the mantle and actually kicks me away from him.
And hangs...seriously...hangs from mantle.
13. When I put him down for nap he snuggles against me with his blanket and "B" and says "Mommeee...wuv Mommeee..." (this somewhat redeems him, so I had to add it here).
14. But I still have a Y.I. And it's annoying the bajeezus out of me...like everything else today. If I didn't know better, I'd think I was pregnant for all of the bitchiness.
But unfortunately I'm not.
I'm just a bitch.
F**k.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
"Eat, Pray, Love"
Why, yes indeed.
While reading this book the other day (I just started it--so far I like it enough...not in love yet) I realized that this could quite easily be the title of my summer.
Lots of eating (as has been documented).
Lots of praying (well, at Yoga, anyway...and anytime I'm with Jonny).
and LOTS of love (for my boys, my Brian, our family and friends...and our house).
Life has been pretty slow the past few weeks, and I've loved it. I know full well that my equilibrium is at its best when life is slower...I've always been this way. Life is just busy enough with these boys, that I find being in the moment the only way to keep myself sane...and not completely stupified as to where the time went.
Brian and I had one of our best date nights in a long time this past Saturday night...dinner out, and then a stop at BW3 (we like to keep it classy) for a beer...or two...on the way home. We actually sat outside at BDubbs and were the only ones out there for over an hour. It was great. It's funny in marriage how you find yourself more in sync at certain times than others...we always seem to be on the same page, but nights like the one we had last weekend serve as an even greater reminder of why we're together.
There's no real way to put it into words...even though I sometimes try.
It's just what we seem to have. And I'm grateful.
When we got home Saturday night, Allie gave us the usual run-down of how things went with the boys. And as luck would have it, Benjamin had been in rare form.
It seems, as Allie reported (her account was far more animated and hilarious), that when they were playing "car hospital"...Benjamin set aside two specific cars and proceeded to ignore them while taking the rest of his twelve-thousand cars to the hospital (bookshelf). When Allie asked him if he wanted to take the red car (one of the two he left behind), he told her it didn't need to go...since it didn't have "the flute" (his name for the "flu").
But when she asked him about the second car...which, upon inspection, she noticed was missing its wheels...he responded with the following:
"No...I don't want that one."
"Why not?" asked Allie.
Says Benjamin: "Ehh...it's too crappy."
Seriously, I can't believe I didn't blog that little nugget right away, because I've been laughing about it ever since.
And yet the obvious question remains...where in the world did he learn to talk that way?
Bite your tongue.
While reading this book the other day (I just started it--so far I like it enough...not in love yet) I realized that this could quite easily be the title of my summer.
Lots of eating (as has been documented).
Lots of praying (well, at Yoga, anyway...and anytime I'm with Jonny).
and LOTS of love (for my boys, my Brian, our family and friends...and our house).
Life has been pretty slow the past few weeks, and I've loved it. I know full well that my equilibrium is at its best when life is slower...I've always been this way. Life is just busy enough with these boys, that I find being in the moment the only way to keep myself sane...and not completely stupified as to where the time went.
Brian and I had one of our best date nights in a long time this past Saturday night...dinner out, and then a stop at BW3 (we like to keep it classy) for a beer...or two...on the way home. We actually sat outside at BDubbs and were the only ones out there for over an hour. It was great. It's funny in marriage how you find yourself more in sync at certain times than others...we always seem to be on the same page, but nights like the one we had last weekend serve as an even greater reminder of why we're together.
There's no real way to put it into words...even though I sometimes try.
It's just what we seem to have. And I'm grateful.
When we got home Saturday night, Allie gave us the usual run-down of how things went with the boys. And as luck would have it, Benjamin had been in rare form.
It seems, as Allie reported (her account was far more animated and hilarious), that when they were playing "car hospital"...Benjamin set aside two specific cars and proceeded to ignore them while taking the rest of his twelve-thousand cars to the hospital (bookshelf). When Allie asked him if he wanted to take the red car (one of the two he left behind), he told her it didn't need to go...since it didn't have "the flute" (his name for the "flu").
But when she asked him about the second car...which, upon inspection, she noticed was missing its wheels...he responded with the following:
"No...I don't want that one."
"Why not?" asked Allie.
Says Benjamin: "Ehh...it's too crappy."
Seriously, I can't believe I didn't blog that little nugget right away, because I've been laughing about it ever since.
And yet the obvious question remains...where in the world did he learn to talk that way?
Bite your tongue.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Bom-Diggity
Well, I am obsessed.
With this stuff.
Sarah's going to think it's gone to my brain, for all of the talk I've given it this week...but I just poured myself a glass for an afternoon pick-me-up, and am thrilled to not be drinking coffee this time of day.
Two points for Meg.
Anyway, I bought some at Costco a few weeks ago and am seriously in love...drink it alone, in smoothies that I make for the boys (adding plain yogurt and bananas), and even mixed it with iced tea yesterday. Yum!
And that's my weekly product endorsement.
With this stuff.
Sarah's going to think it's gone to my brain, for all of the talk I've given it this week...but I just poured myself a glass for an afternoon pick-me-up, and am thrilled to not be drinking coffee this time of day.
Two points for Meg.
Anyway, I bought some at Costco a few weeks ago and am seriously in love...drink it alone, in smoothies that I make for the boys (adding plain yogurt and bananas), and even mixed it with iced tea yesterday. Yum!
And that's my weekly product endorsement.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Imagination Station
I have some hilarious bits of Benjamin to share...if for no other reason, than to eradicate the piss and vinegar of late yesterday from my blog.
Anyway, Benjamin's imagination has been on overdrive this week. And I shall share a few examples:
*Yesterday, while I was cleaning the bathroom upstairs, he and Jonny were playing in Brian's and my room...which never ends well, I should add. Jonathan usually ends up behind the tv messing with cords, or Benjamin will try to make a fort under our bed...or worse, lately, Jonathan's been trying to climb the bookcase. Anyway, as I'm cleaning the toilet yesterday (hey, I'm accurate in my stories if nothing else), I notice it's a bit too quiet in there...and go in to find them both sitting, hands in laps, in the back of our closet. When I find them, they both burst out in giggles..and Benjamin says,
"Mommaayy! We're having a TV show!"
"You are?" I say. "What show is it? Can I watch?"
"Um, um..." (stumped by the sudden need to name the show) "...it's the...the...McDonald's TV Show! And we're making ham-boogers!"
"Oooh...I'd love to watch how that's done" I say. "How do you make them?"
(p.s. Jonny is, the whole time, just holding his hands in his lap, butt-happy grin on his face, looking back and forth from Benjamin's face to mine...anxious for whatever is to come next)
"Well," says Benjamin, "we need to work verrrryy carefully. And you can have fries and grapes while you wait!"
Grapes?
*Next story: this morning, as I'm checking my email (bad mommy, bad mommy) I hear the two of them rustling around in the dining room. Just as I turn around to see what's going on, I find Benjamin hauling the giant oriental rug from that room into the kitchen...all rolled up and all. Then I go into the dining room to see the table (it's a small table, with wheels on the legs) up against the window.
"Mommaayy! It's a new big car wash! And if it's your birthday, you can use it. Ok, Mommy?"
"Hmm, it's not my birthday" I say.
"But, but...but...ok, Mommy, you can use it. Everybody can use it!"
"Wow, how inclusive of you, Bud...so, do I crawl through it?"
"Yes, but you need your car, Mommy."
High-larious.
I know in every other household there are a million stories like these...and they just crack me up. Love the little imaginations at work. When my nieces play restaurant and "take my order", I seriously want to pee. Like when Addie, my 3year old niece, is writing down all the things I want to eat on her notepad...and without even looking up at me, or skipping a beat, says,
"...and to drink?"
Lately, whenever Benjamin wants something to eat, he tells me his "tummy wants something to eat". Talk about a reminder that, while our little ones have active imaginations, their minds are also incredibly literal. If I ask him if he's hungry...he'll just say "Yeah, Mommy...I am...but my tummy is telling me."
The boy's in touch.
Love it.
Anyway, Benjamin's imagination has been on overdrive this week. And I shall share a few examples:
*Yesterday, while I was cleaning the bathroom upstairs, he and Jonny were playing in Brian's and my room...which never ends well, I should add. Jonathan usually ends up behind the tv messing with cords, or Benjamin will try to make a fort under our bed...or worse, lately, Jonathan's been trying to climb the bookcase. Anyway, as I'm cleaning the toilet yesterday (hey, I'm accurate in my stories if nothing else), I notice it's a bit too quiet in there...and go in to find them both sitting, hands in laps, in the back of our closet. When I find them, they both burst out in giggles..and Benjamin says,
"Mommaayy! We're having a TV show!"
"You are?" I say. "What show is it? Can I watch?"
"Um, um..." (stumped by the sudden need to name the show) "...it's the...the...McDonald's TV Show! And we're making ham-boogers!"
"Oooh...I'd love to watch how that's done" I say. "How do you make them?"
(p.s. Jonny is, the whole time, just holding his hands in his lap, butt-happy grin on his face, looking back and forth from Benjamin's face to mine...anxious for whatever is to come next)
"Well," says Benjamin, "we need to work verrrryy carefully. And you can have fries and grapes while you wait!"
Grapes?
*Next story: this morning, as I'm checking my email (bad mommy, bad mommy) I hear the two of them rustling around in the dining room. Just as I turn around to see what's going on, I find Benjamin hauling the giant oriental rug from that room into the kitchen...all rolled up and all. Then I go into the dining room to see the table (it's a small table, with wheels on the legs) up against the window.
"Mommaayy! It's a new big car wash! And if it's your birthday, you can use it. Ok, Mommy?"
"Hmm, it's not my birthday" I say.
"But, but...but...ok, Mommy, you can use it. Everybody can use it!"
"Wow, how inclusive of you, Bud...so, do I crawl through it?"
"Yes, but you need your car, Mommy."
High-larious.
I know in every other household there are a million stories like these...and they just crack me up. Love the little imaginations at work. When my nieces play restaurant and "take my order", I seriously want to pee. Like when Addie, my 3year old niece, is writing down all the things I want to eat on her notepad...and without even looking up at me, or skipping a beat, says,
"...and to drink?"
Lately, whenever Benjamin wants something to eat, he tells me his "tummy wants something to eat". Talk about a reminder that, while our little ones have active imaginations, their minds are also incredibly literal. If I ask him if he's hungry...he'll just say "Yeah, Mommy...I am...but my tummy is telling me."
The boy's in touch.
Love it.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Reasons why...
Brian needs to be done working so I can leave the f***ing house and go to Yoga:
1. Benjamin (I think I've heard him say my name about TEN THOUSAND EFFING TIMES in the past five minutes)
2. Jonathan (he doesn't know how to walk yet...just how to run)
3. It's 5 o'clock*. 'Nuf said.
*on this particular day, we've made it to 5 o'clock without the tv on...once. I'm proud, of course, but know full well that it will be on once I leave (with Pardon the Interruption on ESPN, not Blue's Clues)
1. Benjamin (I think I've heard him say my name about TEN THOUSAND EFFING TIMES in the past five minutes)
2. Jonathan (he doesn't know how to walk yet...just how to run)
3. It's 5 o'clock*. 'Nuf said.
*on this particular day, we've made it to 5 o'clock without the tv on...once. I'm proud, of course, but know full well that it will be on once I leave (with Pardon the Interruption on ESPN, not Blue's Clues)
Reasons why...
I seem to be 5lbs over my ideal weight:
*summer get-togethers with food
*summer get-togethers with drinks
*white chocolate mochas at 'Bucks--seriously? could I make a more unhealthy choice?
(and why I've chosen to take up drinking these now...this time of year...I've no clue)
*vodka and lemonade
(um, like more often than once a week)
*the ice cream man
(I never buy anything for myself...just kinda felt like it fit here)
*fewer spin classes on the summer schedule at The MAC (weak excuse, weak...)
*Bachelorette Mondays at Allie's (with BW3 wings)--thank God this ritual has ended!
*pina coladas (randomly I'm into the Friday's pre-made that you put in the blender with ice)
*increased highway travel (translation: fast food)
I'm sure there are more reasons...and even more ways I could be doing something about it. But ohh....welll. I'm comin to Jesus with the extra fluff. Of course, I'm vowing to myself to have it off by my August Seattle trip. Why this is a goal, I'm not sure...but I've gotta have one that's not too far off.
And now, for the last list.
Reasons why I'm only 5, and not 10, lbs over my idea weight:
1. Jonathan.
2. Jonathan.
3. Jonathan.
*summer get-togethers with food
*summer get-togethers with drinks
*white chocolate mochas at 'Bucks--seriously? could I make a more unhealthy choice?
(and why I've chosen to take up drinking these now...this time of year...I've no clue)
*vodka and lemonade
(um, like more often than once a week)
*the ice cream man
(I never buy anything for myself...just kinda felt like it fit here)
*fewer spin classes on the summer schedule at The MAC (weak excuse, weak...)
*Bachelorette Mondays at Allie's (with BW3 wings)--thank God this ritual has ended!
*pina coladas (randomly I'm into the Friday's pre-made that you put in the blender with ice)
*increased highway travel (translation: fast food)
I'm sure there are more reasons...and even more ways I could be doing something about it. But ohh....welll. I'm comin to Jesus with the extra fluff. Of course, I'm vowing to myself to have it off by my August Seattle trip. Why this is a goal, I'm not sure...but I've gotta have one that's not too far off.
And now, for the last list.
Reasons why I'm only 5, and not 10, lbs over my idea weight:
1. Jonathan.
2. Jonathan.
3. Jonathan.
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